среда, 15 октября 2008 г.

what is messianic




That these compounds mean something else? I admit it; I am struggling. I want to let go, but there is always something so compelling about hanging on. I miss you. I miss everyone of you. I miss the widespread lips of my bestfriend Polina and her smile and her heavy high cheeks smothering her eyes when she does. I miss the grin of my bestfriend Andre and how no matter what mean things he says, he still has the glimmer of love in his unusually shaped eyes and a hidden insight into how life carries on. I miss even being able to have the encouragement and support of Jonathan, where I was always reassured that after everything else this is nothing but another step towards something else. Then, thereapos;s Julianne, who provides a direction towards motivation and a sense of comfort. I miss being able to talk about things that may not even have any place in our own lives, but have something to do with the world we live in.

I miss Lukas, who may have like a small moon circling around a larger planet, still forgave God; both for his existence and his imaginary existence. Amanda was and still is a gripping potential "something," but is this a loyal confidant -- someone to relieve fear and agony, even when there is no hope. Poor Paula, poor emotional Paula put a perspective on life with her own ignorance and her own realities that it reminded me that there is something else than just science but a world of creativity.

Lastly, I miss Lev, who radiates a love and faith for life and all that exists in it. An innocence that we have all fought to maintain but have lost -- a sense that love is the most powerful thing, and then there is death.

Each person contributes so much to the next. Only when you begin to unravel do you see what glue kept you in one piece.

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