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I woke up feeling sick...
I donrsquo;t know why...
Maybe because I cried before I slept last night...
Maybe because I havenrsquo;t took up my medicine...
*sigh*
last night I told him that I wanted to break up with him...
That I canrsquo;t feel him anymore...
Maybe I just felt out of love all of a sudden...
Yes, iapos;m still insane...
And irsquo;m very inconsiderate...
I know Irsquo;ll hurt him...
But I donrsquo;t want to hurt myself too...
I just want to be happy...
Everybody wants to be happy..
who doesnrsquo;t?
Irsquo;m being selfish again...
Is this what I wanted?
Is this the end...?
My friends telling me that if I really donrsquo;t love him...
I must set him free...
I mustnrsquo;t be unfair to him...
To our relationship...
I feel sad...
I really feel sad...
Irsquo;m sick...
And even if irsquo;m sick...
I still go to megamall to unwind...
I play dance maniax until I can...
Karaoke and eat shawarma...
Things I usually do when irsquo;m sad...
I feel lifeless...
Irsquo;m laughing but irsquo;m not happy...
I wanted to cry...
But something is stopping me to do so...
Irsquo;m still sick...
Irsquo;m typing nothingness just to fill
The boredom and sadness that irsquo;m feeling...
I want to go somewhere...
where nobody knows me...
A place where no one will going to hurt me...
No one will make me sad...
I want to die...
I want to be alone...
I guess this will be another black Christmas for me...
No one understands me after all...
No one really cares...
I hate myself for expecting that much from others...
I hate myself for depending too much on them...
To those people I loved so much...
For believing that I can find happiness with them...
Feeling lonesome right now makes me
Realize that I donrsquo;t have them...
They just made me believe that they exist...
Though for real they really donrsquo;t...
*sigh*
A loser will always be a loser...
Yeah...
Irsquo;m always been a loser...
...
Now irsquo;m irritated...
I want to be alone...
But my younger sister is bugging me...
Shersquo;s annoying...
Irsquo;m still sick...
But even if irsquo;m sick...
I donrsquo;t want to stay at home...
If thereapos;s only a place where I can stay in peace...
A place where thereapos;s trees and lots of grass...
A zoo... Or seashore...
I want to see the sea...
I wanted to go back to that moment where Irsquo;m at manila bay...
Irsquo;m only an inch far from death...
I was about to jump in the water but I cant...
Irsquo;m really stupid...
and yes, iapos;m scared...
That was one opportunity that I took for granted...
How does it feel to be half dead?
How about dying?
Does it feels good as what irsquo;m feeling right now?
I want to know...
I really want to know...
Let me try it sometimes...

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So last week we did some more of Fireworks. I think i am starting to get a hang of Fireworks better then i did with photoshop. I�think today we will be doing more on fireworks and i hope to finish the fireworks project today as well. I really donapos;t think it will take me that long to do because we basically did what we had to do last week and that was very good practice So, hopefully i will be able to finish it today. This week is going to be another stressful week as usual I spaced out everything according to when things need to be do so i think it will not be as stressful as last week was. I really want these next two weeks to be over I�want it to be halloween super super bad I really have nothing else to say...iapos;m just busy with school work and hoping for the weekend to get here as fast as it can

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Hi everyone.� I�have a daughter who is almost 4 1/2, and potty training has been mostly a dismal failure.� She has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), which basically means that she has trouble understanding what people say to her.� We have tried every method we can think of to potty train her.� Stickers on a chart with prizes every so often woks fairly well, but even that depends on her mood.� If she wants to go on the potty she will.� If not she wonapos;t.� Asking her if she needs to pee pee or poo poo in the potty is the same way.� We have thought about just letting the diapers run out and seeing what happens, but Iapos;m a little nervous about that.

Does anyone have any other ideas?

On a related note, we will start potty training our 2 1/2 year old son soon, and I�have joked a couple times that he will be potty trained first, but now Iapos;m starting to think it might actually happen that way
�

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Have you seen or tried the Candy Corn flavored Hersheyapos;s Kisses? They even have the stripes. There is a slight candy corn flavor at the start and a white chocolate one at the finish. Not too bad for a special edition flavor.

I had Jury Duty today. I get called like clockwork every 3 years since registering to vote and today I was finally empaneled. We sat and listened to the judge, opening statements, witnesess, closing and the judgeapos;s charge to us, then we deliberated while we ate lunch. Lunch in the court system apparently is between 1 and 2. Good thing that they bought us sandwiches. Deliberation took about 2 hours. It was an interesting and thoughtful experience.

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1. BIKE MAINTENANCE: So far I have learned about tires and flats, brakes and cables, gears and derailleurs, and overhauling bearings. We have class at night, so it gets really very cold. We all layer our coats and scarves, but my teacher is a well-built, stout fellow- he just wears a t-shirt, while we shiver and shake.

2. SLIPCASTING: Iapos;ve finished a practice mold of a soap bottle, an official mold of a honey-bear, and Iapos;ve started a new one of Aliceapos;s ceramic palms. Iapos;m in the process of drying my first slips (ever) and thinking of my next few molds. When will we get to glaze? because Iapos;m so excited

3. WELH PROVIDENCE RADIO: Finally, I can check off "orientation meeting"- Iapos;ve completed two reviews, one of a music show, and one of a features show. Today was the Features Training Meeting. We were introduced to the BSR Library, and Studio B, and I checked out some CDs to review. Their library is huge There is an infinite (ok more like finite, but pretty great) amount of music for me to play with and listen to, this fall of 2008. I want to have a features show in the Spring, and itapos;ll definitely include Chinese Dad and whales.

4. WCC Writerapos;s Workshop: After three months of this Writerapos;s Workshop going on, it seems like the next step should be NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, November). Iapos;ll probably do that. Haha

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So I recently picked up and have been playing Mercenaries 2: World in Flames (in case the title didnapos;t give that away) and although the game is quite fun, I have a couple of "minor" qualms with it.

First, the graphics suck. Itapos;s not that graphics make a game good or bad, but weapos;re talking on par with Morrowind for character detail and GTA 3 for object/terrain detail. I was just expecting more from a new game.

Second, you have to go through a fucking minigame when you want to hijack a Tank, APC, or Helicopter. Itapos;s not that I detest minigames, the lock picking/doingeverythingelseinthegame minigame in Mass Effect wasnapos;t bad, but thatapos;s because how it was set up. In Mass Effect, you get a small diamond with dimmed ABXY buttons in there regular patterns and colors, then they light up when you are suppose to hit them. In Mercs 2, you hit the button to hijack whatever it may be, then at various points (depending on the vehicle) cryptic symbols will flash on the screen. If you donapos;t figure out what the symbol stands for and then hit the corresponding button, you are thrown off the vehicle and must start again. Also, there is know way of knowing how many different times youapos;ll need to make your character do shit by striking keys, they range from one time to four times when hijacking something, with the upper end taking upwards of 45 seconds to go through the combo and actually hijack the thing. Total pain in the ass.

Third, you donapos;t get any good anti-personnel weapons until the end of the game, when you mostly fight helicopters and tanks. I donapos;t have a rant about this one, it just wish I could have my nice Chinese 12.7mm Anti-Material rifle and Fuel-Air RPG in the beginning of the game, when I had to fight hoards of foot soldiers.

Fourth, the game is glithchy as hell. About half way through the game, all civilians and patrolling guards on the west side of my map vanished and never returned. One city went back to normal after a plot event replaced the city with a new one (basically). I still have several deserted islands. Also, if you are near any military units, no matter to whom they belong, they constantly shout things like "HOSTILE IN SIGHT" and "ENEMY, BEHIND THAT TREE", especially when there are no hostile forces around. Not to mention every time I call for my helicopter to pick up some munitions or something, after the pilot leaves, he radios in that he has taken ground fire (even when he has not) and charges me for repairs. However, his repair charge is -$3,000, so I actually get credited some every time. Yeah, that sounds good, but he recharges 50 slower after taking fire, and also in the game I have close to $60 Million, so $3k really isnapos;t worth it.

The game is fun, but there are very few missions, and most of the side mission are either repetitive as all fuck or just blow. Iapos;m almost completely done with the game and Iapos;m not sure I want to finish it.

On another video game note, Iapos;ve preordered Far Cry 2, and by doing so got a free upgrade to the limited edition. Normally special editions suck, they offer a toy of some kind, a "Making Of..." DVD or some bullshit, but this one comes with six extra mission which (according to Ubisoft) is three hours of game play. I like long, sandbox games, so unless they fucked the accuracy to hell and back (like all the Tom Clancy games) it should be pretty kick ass.

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traje de charro

Hola everyone.
for starters im Jessica. Dont forget it.
I have had a livejournal, and i have tried to make one entry per day.
That didnt work out so great.
I will post an entry when i get the chance.

Letapos;s start off with my day.
It was cold, for 5 minutes. But i guess thats how florida is.
:/
1st period- fell asleeeeeeep D:
2nd period- wandered around
3rd period- BIG�TEST but i think I did pretty good (;
4th period- ohmy, Mrs.Fitz is a bitch
5th period- haha, big argument about obama and McCain
6th period- LMFAOO, mrs. McKinley is OVERdramatic
7th period- almost fell asleep.

mmhm, that was basically my day^^^
:D no one is on myspace, or AIM
sucks, eh.

This concludes my First Journal Entry(:
seeyaaaaah.

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Can we just fucking vote already?

Iapos;m sick to death of all the roundabout talk. Itapos;s like being in high school all over again. "You said this before, did you mean to say this?" apos;Well I only said that cuz he said this to me first."
"But...thatapos;s not what I asked. Would you say that now to his face?" "Well uh, he first said that other stuff and promised he wouldnapos;t do the things he did."

Such bullshit. If they were on a high school debate team it would be infinitely more interesting and worthwhile.

Letapos;s just vote and let Mccain win so I can move to Israel or New Zealand and heard sheep.

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ty nguyen

Why does Sea World have a sea food restaurant?

(Im halfway through my fish burger when I realize, OH MY GOD, IM EATING A SLOW LEARNER...)


Why is there a light in the fridge,but not in the freezer?

Why is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole fucking box to start a campfire?

Why does the word LISP have an "s" in it? (THATS JUST CRUEL)

Why donapos;t sheep shrink when it rains?

Why do they put Braille dots on the key pads of the drive-up ATM machine?


I demand answers

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