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I need to get organized today. These last couple of days have been a whirlwind of activities that have lended to a fall off the schedule wagon. Not good, I say...not good

Many thanks to salva for getting me the new blackberry storm I had it by noon the first day it came out, I am still figuring it out and needing to download some apps so that I can sync all together. Iapos;ve only got a short week this week, which means double� time organization is mandated. I will be making some minor graphical changes to the Blue Hypnosis boutique, adding some recordings and adding some social networking links, since I have lacked doing that.

andypantz should also have a new review going up this week too. Letapos;s get rolling

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Manic times in my house o.O

Iapos;ve rearranged Rubyapos;s room to be half nursery half her playroom still.� Toddler bed is now next to our bed.� Sheapos;s in it about 50 Iapos;d say.� This next week I am going to be more insistant she fall asleep in it.

The ladies at my work held a shower for me :)� So nice.� My best work friend got me like 3 yards of this flannel, except with a more cream.natural background:



I now have a red gingham crib sheet and a denim dust ruffle.� Its looking more "boyish" and ready so that is making me feel slightly more at ease.� I think I am going to take the flannel and cut up a bunch of our old jeans and make a rag quilt and a few pillows to match. Something like this:
�

Iapos;ve also seen an entire rug made from denim. So thats�kind of exciting.� I�can definately afford to�scronge up our old jeans or get them for $1 at the thrift store.�

Tthey also got me an infant car seat that is grey �black so no pink trip home for the boy �The base is alsothe least wide they make so I hope all 3 kids will be able to buckle in the back seat.� I sure wish I could turn off the airbag in the front so Gabi could ride up there without terrible visions of a crash in my head.

Still so much to do.� And then to have people over for Thanksgiving.� Urgh.� Iapos;m almost hoping to go into labor�just so I donapos;t have to cook an entire family feast.� Donapos;t get me wrong, I�love cooking for the holidays, but I am so friggen pregnant the idea of going to Golden Corral is sounding better and better.� I think my family would DIE though.� Chris was already talking about all my yummy recipes and how he canapos;t wait to eat this or that.� *sigh*

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�Hi everyone
I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Niki

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I woke up feeling sick...
I donrsquo;t know why...
Maybe because I cried before I slept last night...
Maybe because I havenrsquo;t took up my medicine...
*sigh*
last night I told him that I wanted to break up with him...
That I canrsquo;t feel him anymore...
Maybe I just felt out of love all of a sudden...
Yes, iapos;m still insane...
And irsquo;m very inconsiderate...
I know Irsquo;ll hurt him...
But I donrsquo;t want to hurt myself too...
I just want to be happy...
Everybody wants to be happy..
who doesnrsquo;t?
Irsquo;m being selfish again...
Is this what I wanted?
Is this the end...?
My friends telling me that if I really donrsquo;t love him...
I must set him free...
I mustnrsquo;t be unfair to him...
To our relationship...
I feel sad...
I really feel sad...
Irsquo;m sick...
And even if irsquo;m sick...
I still go to megamall to unwind...
I play dance maniax until I can...
Karaoke and eat shawarma...
Things I usually do when irsquo;m sad...
I feel lifeless...
Irsquo;m laughing but irsquo;m not happy...
I wanted to cry...
But something is stopping me to do so...
Irsquo;m still sick...
Irsquo;m typing nothingness just to fill
The boredom and sadness that irsquo;m feeling...
I want to go somewhere...
where nobody knows me...
A place where no one will going to hurt me...
No one will make me sad...
I want to die...
I want to be alone...
I guess this will be another black Christmas for me...
No one understands me after all...
No one really cares...
I hate myself for expecting that much from others...
I hate myself for depending too much on them...
To those people I loved so much...
For believing that I can find happiness with them...
Feeling lonesome right now makes me
Realize that I donrsquo;t have them...
They just made me believe that they exist...
Though for real they really donrsquo;t...
*sigh*
A loser will always be a loser...
Yeah...
Irsquo;m always been a loser...
...
Now irsquo;m irritated...
I want to be alone...
But my younger sister is bugging me...
Shersquo;s annoying...
Irsquo;m still sick...
But even if irsquo;m sick...
I donrsquo;t want to stay at home...
If thereapos;s only a place where I can stay in peace...
A place where thereapos;s trees and lots of grass...
A zoo... Or seashore...
I want to see the sea...
I wanted to go back to that moment where Irsquo;m at manila bay...
Irsquo;m only an inch far from death...
I was about to jump in the water but I cant...
Irsquo;m really stupid...
and yes, iapos;m scared...
That was one opportunity that I took for granted...
How does it feel to be half dead?
How about dying?
Does it feels good as what irsquo;m feeling right now?
I want to know...
I really want to know...
Let me try it sometimes...

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So last week we did some more of Fireworks. I think i am starting to get a hang of Fireworks better then i did with photoshop. I�think today we will be doing more on fireworks and i hope to finish the fireworks project today as well. I really donapos;t think it will take me that long to do because we basically did what we had to do last week and that was very good practice So, hopefully i will be able to finish it today. This week is going to be another stressful week as usual I spaced out everything according to when things need to be do so i think it will not be as stressful as last week was. I really want these next two weeks to be over I�want it to be halloween super super bad I really have nothing else to say...iapos;m just busy with school work and hoping for the weekend to get here as fast as it can

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Hi everyone.� I�have a daughter who is almost 4 1/2, and potty training has been mostly a dismal failure.� She has been diagnosed with PDD (Pervasive Developmental Disorder), which basically means that she has trouble understanding what people say to her.� We have tried every method we can think of to potty train her.� Stickers on a chart with prizes every so often woks fairly well, but even that depends on her mood.� If she wants to go on the potty she will.� If not she wonapos;t.� Asking her if she needs to pee pee or poo poo in the potty is the same way.� We have thought about just letting the diapers run out and seeing what happens, but Iapos;m a little nervous about that.

Does anyone have any other ideas?

On a related note, we will start potty training our 2 1/2 year old son soon, and I�have joked a couple times that he will be potty trained first, but now Iapos;m starting to think it might actually happen that way
�

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Have you seen or tried the Candy Corn flavored Hersheyapos;s Kisses? They even have the stripes. There is a slight candy corn flavor at the start and a white chocolate one at the finish. Not too bad for a special edition flavor.

I had Jury Duty today. I get called like clockwork every 3 years since registering to vote and today I was finally empaneled. We sat and listened to the judge, opening statements, witnesess, closing and the judgeapos;s charge to us, then we deliberated while we ate lunch. Lunch in the court system apparently is between 1 and 2. Good thing that they bought us sandwiches. Deliberation took about 2 hours. It was an interesting and thoughtful experience.

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1. BIKE MAINTENANCE: So far I have learned about tires and flats, brakes and cables, gears and derailleurs, and overhauling bearings. We have class at night, so it gets really very cold. We all layer our coats and scarves, but my teacher is a well-built, stout fellow- he just wears a t-shirt, while we shiver and shake.

2. SLIPCASTING: Iapos;ve finished a practice mold of a soap bottle, an official mold of a honey-bear, and Iapos;ve started a new one of Aliceapos;s ceramic palms. Iapos;m in the process of drying my first slips (ever) and thinking of my next few molds. When will we get to glaze? because Iapos;m so excited

3. WELH PROVIDENCE RADIO: Finally, I can check off "orientation meeting"- Iapos;ve completed two reviews, one of a music show, and one of a features show. Today was the Features Training Meeting. We were introduced to the BSR Library, and Studio B, and I checked out some CDs to review. Their library is huge There is an infinite (ok more like finite, but pretty great) amount of music for me to play with and listen to, this fall of 2008. I want to have a features show in the Spring, and itapos;ll definitely include Chinese Dad and whales.

4. WCC Writerapos;s Workshop: After three months of this Writerapos;s Workshop going on, it seems like the next step should be NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month, November). Iapos;ll probably do that. Haha

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